A couple of thousand years are deftly condensed into a sharp 75 minutes by that cool, comic-next-door, Colin Quinn ("Saturday Night Live"). Is all this just a humorous look at history or are civilizations repeating themselves? You decide for yourself after Colin Quinn: Long Story Short, a crash course of Social Studies 101, at Broadway's Helen Hayes Theater.
This is basically a standup routine. Quinn kicks around some personal theories on various civilizations as he performs in front of David Gallo's amphitheater-style, wide screen featuring projections of maps and art works. With occasional reminders of director Jerry Seinfeld's dry observational style, Quinn mixes clever, amusing ethnic slams using precise foreign accents, into a send-up, mostly hilarious, directed toward every society in his sight. Throughout the show, he zigzags back to the present day and contemporary mores. Starting with a visit to a dying aunt in the hospital, he quotes her as saying, "'Turn the TV so the person in the next bed can't see it." Then he wonders, "If we can't share a hospital room, how can we share the Middle East?"
Quinn moves on to the cave days, ancient Greece and Rome, Europe, China with its overachieving children and Russia where depression began, the ongoing contempt between England and France, and the western hemisphere. When Spain tried to colonize South America, he informs, "They went for the gold, stayed for the drugs."
Comparing the ancient Greek and Roman civilizations, he decides they were "thinkers" versus "tough guys" and adds that Rome was burned for the insurance money. Says Quinn, "Greek children watched about 40 hours of plays a week. A lot of parents felt it was too much, but what could they do?" He compares the Greek drama of Sophocles' Antigone, crying over the loss of her dead brother and Snooki in New Jersey, distraught and crying over the loss of her cell phone. As for Africa, Quinn, a Brooklyn native, compares the constant unrest on the continent to six Brooklyn high schools letting out at the same time.
Quinn observes, "We just assume everyone wants our way of life. But they want American-style democracy the way it looked in 1960, when it was the Beach Boys and The Mickey Mouse Club. Now, it's Lil Wayne and `Girls Gone Wild.'"
Colin Quinn: Long Story Short enjoyed a successful summer run at 45 Bleecker, and while Colin Quinn's cool, dry wit works well in the intimate Helen Hayes Theater, a Broadway ticket demands a high price for this tasty, but really very short long story.
