The agony and ecstasy of competitive sports is splendidly dramatized in Phys Ed, a monologue performed by Nicholas Osmond at Assembly Hall as part of the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Writer Simon Carter packs a lot into the monologue, which is subtitled "The Story of a Rugby Hero." The subtitle is a little misleading in that Neville Trellis (Osmond), the man delivering the monologue, is someone whose twin brother Ed was the true rugby hero. Neville wanted desperately to excel at the game but could never match his brother's gift.
Now retired from competition and working as a high school Phys Ed teacher, he tries to find satisfaction in coaching. Neville pours all of his feelings - his frustration, disappointment, desperate need for success -- into the coaching job, fighting with all his might to turn a bunch of goofy twelve year olds into a top-notch team, one good enough to win the Leeds championship cup, his personal holy grail. The season comes down to a final deciding contest against a team coached by Neville's lifelong enemy, an ex school bully turned Phys Ed teacher.
As part of the build-up to the big game, Neville discourses on the history and development of rugby, which he wittily describes as "game for hooligans played by gentlemen".
Neville's genuine love for the game infuses his peroration, which is distinguished by its deft and poetic use of language (and by its hilarious putdowns of "sissyish soccer"). Neville also works some inspirational moments into the mix, lip-synching "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha.
It would be wrong to give away the outcome of the big game. Suffice to say that Osmond brings it to life with a fiery intensity, capturing perfectly the suspense and excitement, the joy and pain, that players and spectators alike feel at the outcome of the match.
