Movies indulge in sequels all the time: "Men in Black," begets a second coming, "Rocky" is the gift that kept on giving whether you wanted to open it or not, "Mission Impossible" has become "ending improbable," and only now is "Harry Potter" finally heading toward its last spell.
Theater classics should be just as hard to let go of as cinematic one. Why can't we know that Maria enters a convent after Tony dies to finally put closure to her West Side Story? Can a "Greyer Gardens" be far away? Is there a "Jersey Men" in the future? How about a spin-off where Mama Rose goes bonkers trying to forget how her ingrate daughter Rose, otherwise known as "Gypsy," stole her star from the dressing room door? Or that, finally rejecting Henry Higgins (as G.B. Shaw intended), Eliza Doolittle does marry Freddy Eynsford Hill, opens up a millinery shop, and drowns in debt as she wallows in remorse over the phonetics professor who got away? Perhaps the Van Trapps' success in America transformed their story into "The Sound of Money."
Daring to exploit the future for a shamelessly exploitive sequel, "Footlights" finishes the plot for the plays we love. Who says there are no second acts in American life? There are even third and fourth ones.
Here are seven imaginary sequels, several of them ruthlessly realistic:
SQUAT was an even more successful successor to Rent, detailing what happened to the characters when they couldn't pay it. Encouraged by Mimi, who apparently can never die, they defied their cyber-crazed landlord and staged a rent strike that became a 20-minute dance sequence. Even the ghost of Angel returned to smooth over the lovers' fights and give a "live" interview with filmmaking Mark. Maureen continues her performance art to diminishing audiences. The hit song was a very long dirge inspired by 9/11 that managed to mention most of the victims' names.
WICKEDER was the obvious follow-up to the green musical that dared to reduce "The Wizard of Oz" to a side story and a cover-up for the witches' rivalry.
Now best friends forever, Elphaba and Glinda keep defying gravity and L. Frank Baum's original intentions. This time, Dorothy Gale returns to Oz to reestablish her right to the legend, denying that the Scarecrow was anyone's banished brother. Newly restored to their respective languages, the animals never stop singing, providing the first constant chorus in a Broadway musical and reason enough to leave at the first intermission.
Set a quarter century after the first offering, THE 50th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTING BLOGGING BEE has been totally transformed by the Internet's compressed orthography: Cn u rel8? D Case 4 Splng is now wack because students R havN trouble relating 2 std eng.
Punctuation is for punks. Instead the kids are quizzed on how quickly they can reduce regular words to the shrunken code of instant messages. The winner is the one who uses the fewest letters in order to deliver the most cryptic communication. The lyrics, needless to say, made no sense but they had wonderful energy.
DEVILS IN AMERICA: - The long-awaited sequel to Tony Kushner's epic about the two terms of the Reagan era takes us through the two terms of the Bush regime. The annunciatory angels of the first epic take on their enemies, unleashed by this second Republican usurpation. As new characters replace Roy Cohn, the gay lovers deal with AIDS. The troubled Mormon husband becomes a vegan. Struggles intensify as several characters are jailed as "enemy combatants," drown in New Orleans, die in the Twin Towers, eat lead-tainted Chinese imports, or lose their homes through foreclosures. This time, when the Messenger Angel who announced the millennium (prematurely promising redemption), returns, he's battered, bleeding and can only squawk something sounding like "Bardack" and "Odama," an oracular pronouncement that only time will enlighten.
SOONER STATE! - In this long-awaited sequel to Oklahoma!, we catch up with homesteaders Curly and Laurey a half century after their territory became one more very flat state. Because of the price of gasoline, the surrey with the fringe on top has been brought out from the barn for transportation. Though Aunt Eller is long gone, Ado Annie is still working hard to save her seventh marriage. (Ali Hakim, arrested as a possible terrorist, is now doing time in a Tulsa jail.) Happily, the cowmen and the ranchers continue to be friends, united by their hatred of the oilmen.
THE LION EMPEROR: - Simba, for 20 years lord of the jungle and king of the beasts, has eaten every animal who once acclaimed his reign, except his beloved Nala. Geometrically speaking, the "Circle of Life" is now a very small point. Mel Brooks notwithstanding, it's not so much fun to be the king. Happily, the show only required two costumes so it toured really well.
ABBA SPELLED BACKWARDS! - In this sequel to Mamma Mia!, our dancing queen struggles to evict from her Greek island the two would-be husbands she didn't marry. Finally, frustrated at their inability to take a hundred hints, she makes them part of an ABBA tribute and takes her quartet on the road. Together they create the reunion musical that, judging from the success of the Mamma Mia! megamix that concludes the "musical," is just what audiences wanted all along.
As most sequels do, these shows proved how much less is more and the importance of quitting while you're ahead.
